About time the military took over Texas!

This may not be the proper category, but since Politics has recently been more of a circus than anything else, well, this category is as fitting as any. Perhaps Dave and Jamie can consider adding a "Onion" category? 

http://www.dallasnews.com/news/state/headlines/20150428-abbott-orders-federal-military-training-in-texas-watched-amid-conspiracy-talk.ece

And for more detailed and interesting read about the conspiracies themselves, well, see this link:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2015/05/02/403865824/texas-governor-deploys-state-guard-to-stave-off-obama-takeover

I don't know if to laugh or cry, probably cry from laughing...

This is 2015 in the USA folks! 

The right's greatest weapon - paranoia. Hey, at least they're entertaining.

Apart from oil and gas, why would we invade a parched desert full of yahoos?

GL2 said:

Apart from oil and gas, why would we invade a parched desert full of yahoos?

 To liberate Austin.

wharfrat said:

GL2 said:

Apart from oil and gas, why would we invade a parched desert full of yahoos?

 To liberate Austin.

Now that totally makes sense!!! 

If this is the level of intelligence we are dealing with in some parts of the country, not to mention from a Governor, in this so called "advanced" nation then we are in some serious trouble! 

Surya said:

If this is the level of intelligence we are dealing with in some parts of the country, not to mention from a Governor, in this so called "advanced" nation then we are in some serious trouble! 

 Indeed. And I thought Perry was bad...

Can't be too careful...

“My office has reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise,” Cruz said. “We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don’t trust what it is saying.”

http://www.salon.com/2015/05/04/ted_cruz_i_spoke_with_the_pentagon_to_make_certain_obama_isnt_conducting_a_military_invasion_of_texas/

GL2 said:

Can't be too careful...

“My office has reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise,” Cruz said. “We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don’t trust what it is saying.”

http://www.salon.com/2015/05/04/ted_cruz_i_spoke_with_the_pentagon_to_make_certain_obama_isnt_conducting_a_military_invasion_of_texas/

 Sorry don't believe it. Ted is one of "them", you know, part of the federal government... (Where are the emoticons!)

Yeah, like we're supposed to believe these guys...the very guys who might invade.

Pentagon officials on Monday assured Texas residents that upcoming military exercises in the state are not part of a plot to take over Texas, despite conspiracy theorists' concerns that the U.S. will impose martial law in the state.

Defense officials rejected the "wild speculation" about the "Jade Helm 15" exercise, which prompted Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) to order the Texas State Guard to oversee the exercises.

"Operation Jade Helm poses no threat to any American’s civil liberties," Pentagon spokesman Army Col. Steve Warren told McClatchy. "Operation Jade Helm is being conducted by Americans – by, specifically, American special forces personnel."

Warren said that the military coordinated the exercises with land owners and public officials in multiple states.

Chuck Norris is on the job!

"The U.S. government says, 'It’s just a training exercise.' But I’m not sure the term 'just' has any reference to reality when the government uses it," Norris wrote in his column. "Whatever Jade Helm 15 actually is, I think it is more than coincidental that the FBI director just confessed in February that the presence of ISIS can be felt in all 50 states of the U.S. and that the Pentagon is suddenly running its biggest military training exercise with every branch of the military across seven Southwestern states."

I think we need to send a bunch of Reality Divorce Counselors down there, stat.

It is very concerning that fairy tales are being passed off as news. What next? The Rapture?

Yes, Tom, that's a given for a part of the populace...another reason not to believe in climate change. What's the point!

Remember Annie Hall? Alvy's mom takes him to a shrink b/c he won't do his homework. Alvy had learned that the universe was expanding and that someday it will break apart. "What's the point?," he says to the shrink.

And tomorrow, the issue will be that the Feds aren't doing enough to secure the border with Mexico.

Tom_Reingold said:

It is very concerning that fairy tales are being passed off as news. What next? The Rapture?

 The news isn't the fairy tales. It's that people believe the fairy tales. Then again, people believe the Bible is the literal word of God and they're not mocked by the press...

You know something is really outlandish when Rick Perry is the voice of reason!

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/05/06/perry-to-texas-stop-being-insane.html?source=TDB&via=FB_Page

Is insanity on the right end of the political spectrum? I think this is a new outlook. I think it's somewhere else. Let's say I draw a line on my desk, five feet long. My favorite spot is one foot left of the center. Yours is one foot right of the center. And these people are on Mars. That's not on the right or the left.

wharfrat said:

GL2 said:

Apart from oil and gas, why would we invade a parched desert full of yahoos?

 To liberate Austin.

 Ding ding ding, we have a winner at least per the Borowitz report!

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desperate-residents-of-austin-completely-surrounded-by-texas?mbid=social_facebook

(This is satire, in case some don't know).

Phew! I saw this headline and feared the article was serious.

(http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/06/opinions/moore-texas-pentagon/index.html)

(CNN) Dear America,

I write to you from behind the lines in the last free state of Texas as we prepare to resist the invasion of Jade Helm 15.

While Gen. Travis laid in a supply of extra "beeves" in advance of the Mexican assault from Gen. Santa Anna at the Alamo, we are fearful of running low on Slim Jims and Moon Pies as the Walmarts are turned into detention centers for citizens robbed of their constitutional rights. As POWs (Prisoners of Walmart), we expect to be put to work in the sporting goods department against our will while earning below minimum wage.

We have had one encounter with a commander of the invading force during a hearing in Bastrop, Texas. Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria was deceptively polite and informative but Texans don't fall for those characteristics. We don't need facts. In Chuck Norris we trust, and he has informed us that this is an attempt by the Kenyan socialist in the White House to surrender our country to the United Nations. We have heard the talk that this is a training exercise in seven southwestern states to prepare U.S. troops for new types of war fighting, but Chuck Norris said, "It's not crazy to think Obama would invade Texas."

So that's what we believe.

Of course, a lot of us still think of the Civil War as the "War of Northern Aggression," and we are not going succumb to repeated history. In fact, a few weeks before the Jade Helm's leadership incursion, our state legislature listened to passionate arguments to save "Confederate Heroes Day" on the Texas holiday calendar. A law to abolish the commemoration and honor all participants in the conflict was stopped with persuasion suggesting those who fought with the North were traitors, and anyone who wants to pay them tribute should "go to New York."

Our brave governor, Greg Abbott, has ordered the Texas State Guard to establish listening posts to monitor Jade Helm exercises in case America's soldiers come to take our guns, Duck Dynasty paraphernalia, Lone Star beer, pickup trucks, and bass boats. His command has left only a few of us confused. The governor says he honors the military at the same time he sends a message that he distrusts their activities. We are concerned that our previous governor, Rick Perry, has transcended Abbott's intellect. Perry cannot remember three things at once but thinks paranoia over Jade Helm is not warranted.

Related: Pentagon: No Texas takeover plot

We expect the Jade Helm troops to seduce our population with the profits from selling gas, food, and lodging, but we will be vigilant. We have our radios tuned to Texas conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and we have read the text of the U.N.'s Agenda 21 and know that the global elite can requisition even our golf courses without paying appropriate greens fees. We are aware of the cost of freedom in Texas, though, and on a nice 18-hole golf course it can be a hundred dollars a round plus cart fees.

Dissenters are arising in our midst, too, and pose some danger. A suspiciously sane former state lawmaker, Todd Smith, a Republican, wrote the governor to tell him that his "pandering to idiots" had made him "livid." Although Smith served 16 years in the Texas House, he seems to have salvaged a troubling intelligence. He told Gov. Abbott, "I am horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my governor doesn't have the backbone to stand up to those who do. I'm not sure which is worse."

But be not afraid, America. We are Texans. We will resist logic and intelligence to the very end. And we will keep up our traditions. From the Alamo to the Battle of Goliad, the Confederacy, LBJ's Vietnam, George W. Bush's Iraq War, and even Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboys, we have a long legacy of losing. And the odds are also against us in the coming Battle of Jade Helm, but we expect to prevail against the invaders, and we will not give up our rights.

Or our air conditioning, cold beer, and Slim Jims.

Signed,

A Patriotic Texan

pmartinezv said:

wharfrat said:

GL2 said:

Apart from oil and gas, why would we invade a parched desert full of yahoos?

 To liberate Austin.

 Ding ding ding, we have a winner at least per the Borowitz report!

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desperate-residents-of-austin-completely-surrounded-by-texas?mbid=social_facebook

(This is satire, in case some don't know).

 Good you added the parenthetical. With some of the recent GOP shenanigans it's getting hard to tell.

Tom_Reingold said:

Is insanity on the right end of the political spectrum?  

 I think our history tells us the answer is a firm "Yes."

This is madness.  Has anybody considered the long-term costs of occupying Texas.  Why do we automatically assume that they want our form of democracy?

GL2 said:

Tom_Reingold said:

Is insanity on the right end of the political spectrum?  

 I think our history tells us the answer is a firm "Yes."

 To be fair GL2 do you not remember the Trotskyists from the 60s Left? (Not to mention the Weather Underground) 

LOST said:

GL2 said:

Tom_Reingold said:

Is insanity on the right end of the political spectrum?  

 I think our history tells us the answer is a firm "Yes."

 To be fair GL2 do you not remember the Trotskyists from the 60s Left? (Not to mention the Weather Underground) 

 Yes, and I remember the Workers Viewpoint Organization (NYC), for which I jotted a word or two. But there was a logic, an ideology, a direction...and not just ignorance and paranoia. But I can appreciate your point in terms of a left-to-right continuum.

ridski said:

Meet Jade Helm of Texas. Who is not having a happy time right now.http://www.inquisitr.com/2073038/jade-helm-texas-woman-with-unluckiest-name-in-the-world/ 

Kind of like the guy who owned that auto dealership - Al Kayda Motors.

Whew. Texans have good reason to vote for Rick:

Rick Perry told Glenn Beck that, if he were president, no one would worry that he planned to invade Texas and ship off conservatives to Walmart detention centers – as many Republicans fear President Barack Obama will do this summer.

The former Texas governor and possible GOP presidential candidate addressed Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theories Wednesday on the conservative talk show program, reported Right Wing Watch.

rawstory.com