Bridal / Wedding Party trends
How about more weddings on a tiny budget? I work with Millennials who go to numerous weddings and hope to someday have one, after paying off student loans and moving out of Mom's basement. They constantly talk about their friends who way overspend on their special and start married life with lots of debt. Still they all seem to require elaborate, pre-bridal bacherlorette activities that go on for months with the cost borne by secretly complaining friends. So, I was not surprised to see this article about Millennials not buying diamonds, and the clueless Economist, a publication that probably forgets the majority of us are not the 1%
The Economist can’t figure out why millennials aren’t buying diamonds
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/the-economist-cant-figure-out-why-millennials-arent-buying-diamonds/
I'll send you an email with pics from my daughter's wedding in Philadelphia. She is a fire dancer and had her "girls" perform. She also had the buttons on her dress handmade in gradient color (I helped) and dyed her hair deep red with purple ends, which looked fantastic in an updo. My son in law wore a blue suit with beautiful brown shoes--and I'm not even a fan of brown shoes. The whole event was magical.
Guys, thank you--this is fantastic! That Economist story and Tweet, "Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?" is a fantastic hook for the "Real vs. fake" jewelry portion of my trend piece. (Love the replies: "Cuz we broke, bitch!")
And Marylago--the part about your niece lighting the fire dancers' torches with her bouquet is amazing!! Keep it coming, guys! If I get enough done by this afternoon, I can head to Maplewoodstock! ;-)
Brings to mind a painting, probably 16th century wedding reception in a village. People were seated at a table. Kids and animals running around. The only article out of the ordinary was a halo, painted on the wall, above the newly married couple. I suspect the marriage lasted a long time.
Why do people think their wedding needs to be a Broadway production?
Are you specifically researching Millennials? I've been to a ton of weddings lately but am a bit older than that.
valley_girl said:
Guys, thank you--this is fantastic! That Economist story and Tweet, "Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?" is a fantastic hook for the "Real vs. fake" jewelry portion of my trend piece. (Love the replies: "Cuz we broke, bitch!")
And Marylago--the part about your niece lighting the fire dancers' torches with her bouquet is amazing!! Keep it coming, guys! If I get enough done by this afternoon, I can head to Maplewoodstock!
My daughter... not my niece, but thanks.
Formerlyjerseyjack said:
Why do people think their wedding needs to be a Broadway production?
Why not?
marylago said:
Formerlyjerseyjack said:
Why do people think their wedding needs to be a Broadway production?
Why not?
If the couple can afford it, fine, have a full on Bollywood production if it makes you happy. The issue is that people who can't even begin to afford it go deeply into debt and feel that it is important or else it will reflect on their marriage. I worked with one guy who was still making payments on his wedding five years later. Before we got married my husband was pushing for a wedding that looked like it was going to be north of $20,000. We already had debt, so I knew there was no way we could afford it. We discussed it and it turned out that it wasn't what he wanted, but rather what was expected in his family. We discussed it further, including an in depth discussion regarding how a wedding and a marriage aren't one and the same, and we ended up planning an elopement to Vegas instead which was a ton of fun. Even with the bells and whistles, including a wedding gown for me and a new suit for him, airfare, hotel, etc, it still came to less than $3,000.
But that's not what FJJ said. He asked why people (not just people who can't afford it), choose to have weddings that are like a Broadway production.
And I asked why not?
My daughter and my son in law have good jobs and paid for the wedding thrmselves. Knowing my daughter, she did not put anything on a credit card, or if she did, she's already paid it off. She is very careful.
He asked why people feel the need a Broadway production. "Need" is the word that stuck out for me. Your daughter wanted it and could afford it. Some people who can't afford it go into debt because they believe they "need" it, if they don't have rose petals on the tables and white gloves servers then their marriage will somehow be less valid. Not everyone has this mindset, but many do. Look in bridal magazines and you will see advertisements for financing for weddings.
Why do people need houses in nice neighborhoods or new cars or new kitchens? What business is it of ours?
marylago said:
I'll send you an email with pics from my daughter's wedding in Philadelphia.
Mind if I ask where in Philly? I'm hoping it's somewhere I can picture -- and then picture it with fire dancers.
OMG--Marylago--I was so caught up in the photos, I raced through reading--your daughter, not niece--I'm so sorry!! And PMD, I'm interested in brides and grooms of all ages. Thank you! (Two trends I'm seeing are more ability to personalize / customize things, like invitations, stamps, magnets, jewelry for the bridal party and suits for the groomsmen, and the use of technology to plan, share information and bring people together, like web sites, hash tags and location tagging.)
Yes, all the weddings I have been to recently have their own unique hashtag and really any time the wedding is even mentioned while planning, the hashtag is used. Also if you post pictures on Instagram using the hashtag while at the wedding you would see it up on a screen, which was just showing pictures on rotation.
I was just at a wedding at the Queens County Farm Museum which had a rustic theme - outdoors, drinking from mason jars, catered by a bbq company, sparklers at the end, etc. My little sister is getting married in March at the Riverhead Aquarium. My sister and cousin (the bride at the recent wedding) are both getting lots of their ideas on pinterest and etsy.
DaveSchmidt said:
marylago said:
I'll send you an email with pics from my daughter's wedding in Philadelphia.
Mind if I ask where in Philly? I'm hoping it's somewhere I can picture -- and then picture it with fire dancers.
Sending you a PM.
I'd say the main thing I'm seeing lately is non-traditional weddings. Of course, this may just reflect on my circle of friends! But all of the weddings I have been to have been outside, none have been in a church or had anything religious in the ceremony. All were officiated by friends of the couple. In a few the bride has worn a non-traditional dress (cocktail length, not a white dress). Most haven't had a formal reception -- more of a garden party feel, with outdoor games (horseshoes, cornhole). No formal cake or cake-cutting. No tossing the bouquet. Definitely no garter!! Also photobooths are still HUGE. And lots of fun! Oh, and all of the recent ceremonies have involved the couple's dogs. A trend I love!
marylago said:
Why do people need houses in nice neighborhoods or new cars or new kitchens? What business is it of ours?
They don't "need" those things, no one does. People need food, shelter, medical care, a source of income. But if someone can afford luxuries and enjoy them, then I don't see the issue. It feels like you haven't really read what I wrote. The criticism isn't against someone who can afford a luxury and decides to splurge on it, the criticism is that people who can't afford a luxury feels that the NEED it and go deeply into debt which has repercussions for years to come. Need and want are two different things.
PurpleMonkeyDshwashr said:
I'd say the main thing I'm seeing lately is non-traditional weddings. Of course, this may just reflect on my circle of friends! But all of the weddings I have been to have been outside, none have been in a church or had anything religious in the ceremony. All were officiated by friends of the couple. In a few the bride has worn a non-traditional dress (cocktail length, not a white dress). Most haven't had a formal reception -- more of a garden party feel, with outdoor games (horseshoes, cornhole). No formal cake or cake-cutting. No tossing the bouquet. Definitely no garter!! Also photobooths are still HUGE. And lots of fun! Oh, and all of the recent ceremonies have involved the couple's dogs. A trend I love!
Sorry, I gotta ask. How does one play cornhole?
Formerlyjerseyjack said:
PurpleMonkeyDshwashr said:
I'd say the main thing I'm seeing lately is non-traditional weddings. Of course, this may just reflect on my circle of friends! But all of the weddings I have been to have been outside, none have been in a church or had anything religious in the ceremony. All were officiated by friends of the couple. In a few the bride has worn a non-traditional dress (cocktail length, not a white dress). Most haven't had a formal reception -- more of a garden party feel, with outdoor games (horseshoes, cornhole). No formal cake or cake-cutting. No tossing the bouquet. Definitely no garter!! Also photobooths are still HUGE. And lots of fun! Oh, and all of the recent ceremonies have involved the couple's dogs. A trend I love!
Sorry, I gotta ask. How does one play cornhole?
Hey, this is supposed to be a family friendly forum.
A few weddings I've been invited to over the last couple of years had an online RSVP instead of the usual card you send back. One invitation was even sent via email.
I've also noticed people having dancers perform at a few of the weddings I've been to as well as slideshows which have been around for a while.
My niece went back to her roots on her wedding last September. Gave an Italian village feel. Decorated the outside garden/patio at an inn and than walked to the tent. Had friends bring their desserts if they wanted to found out it was an old tradition. She also had a pinochle table for the guys to go play cards. Just like she remembered her grandfather, father and uncles doing. Problem was she went back to old slides and pictures and then ordered Pinochle cards with my mom & dad's wedding or my father and his brother in their uniforms everyone saw the cards grabbed and took off.
About two years ago we went to a wedding where we were invited by text message. At first my husband thought it was a joke since it came by text since his friend is a jokester like that so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. This wasn't a simple backyard wedding with a few family and friends either, it was a large extravagant affair. I think an email would have been better since it is easier to search for a particular email if you need to refer back for details rather than having to scroll through a phone for a text message which keeps getting pushed further and further up as the conversation continues. The thank you notes were sent via email instead of text.
In regards to women's wedding wear beyond gowns, back about 15 years or so my sister opted to have a 1920's style women's walking suit made instead of a gown. She had the wedding at a historic mansion, and instead of a DJ she hired a string quartet, so it all went together very nicely.
spontaneous said:
marylago said:
Why do people need houses in nice neighborhoods or new cars or new kitchens? What business is it of ours?
They don't "need" those things, no one does. People need food, shelter, medical care, a source of income. But if someone can afford luxuries and enjoy them, then I don't see the issue. It feels like you haven't really read what I wrote. The criticism isn't against someone who can afford a luxury and decides to splurge on it, the criticism is that people who can't afford a luxury feels that the NEED it and go deeply into debt which has repercussions for years to come. Need and want are two different things.
I read what YOU wrote, but that was just an interpretation of what FJJ wrote. I didn't know that you spoke for him...
spontaneous said:
This topic seems a sore subject for you.
Rather sanctimonious, aren't we? I paid for my wedding with cash. I own my house, free and clear. I have zero credit card debt. What about you?
I just don't like people judging other people's decisions.
M.L.
Please re-read Nan and your original posts. You refer to your daughter's fire dance at the wedding ---please post photos. Then you post how pleased you were with how her hair was made up. That was followed by a description of the homemade buttons for her dress. All that was wonderful. You clearly took great pleasure in it. And it certainly did not cost a fortune. That is my point.
My favorite part of Nan's post was the nod to the complaining friends who are sometimes called to front hundreds and maybe even thousands of dollars to satisfy nothing but ego. Some of these friends will see the married couple one or two more times after the wedding. Then, never again.
If I ever were to be married again, (not likely --- too old, too fat, too ugly, too cranky and too poor) I would want a simple ceremony with family and a few friends who would take delight in the hope of our relationship and not in the idea that I/she spent tens of thousands of dollars to impress people that really don't give a crap in the first place.
Alls I know is that when my friends and I discuss an extravagant wedding we have attended, our reaction is along the lines of .... we had lobster, we had filet mignon, we had, we had, and we had.... and there was a live orchestra, not even a d.j. and --- and --- and---. All this is summed up by, "What a waste of money." --- and this ain't just guys talking.
Add to this, the happy, hopeful couples who spend a couple-a hundred per plate and expect the wedding guests to give gifts in an amount to "cover the cost." Sometimes, they even get pissed when the "take" comes up short.
I don't know about you or about any other guys who might be reading this thread, but regarding most of the weddings I went to, I would rather have been home watching teevee with a can of Guinness than where I was.
How many people reading this thread really enjoyed their time at a wedding with all the mishegas?
M.L. I hope this helps.
I remember being invited to my boyfriend's mother's neighbor's son's wedding. I had never even met the neighbor, let alone the son who lived out of state. I was then chastised for not "covering my plate" when I purchased a gift I could afford.
Another time I was invited to the bridal shower of a person I had never met, she was marrying a distant relative whom I had literally met once 15 years before. At first I didn't even realize the invitation was for me since she wrote the wrong last name (my mother's birth name) on the invitation.
I've been to some nice wedding, but I've also been to some thinly disguised fund raising attempts. Though the worst was my former BIL who recently remarried and actually had on their wedding page that they didn't need gifts so cash presents were preferred.
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Hey guys--I am working on a story on bridal / wedding trends for a magazine. Can any of you who have been to weddings lately help me out?
What's new with the groom? Do you see everyone still opting for a black tuxedo and bow tie? What variations have you personally seen? (Vests, colored socks, suit instead of tux, etc.) Did it have to do with the age of the groom?
What about the bride and her accessories? Was she wearing a veil? Was it long or short? Did she do something that would have been unusual ten years ago? Maybe blue shoes? Any adopting of trends from other cultures? (I.e. mehndi parties for the bridal party were big a while back.)
Any new traditions for the bridal party?
Any new conventions, like Save-the-date magnets? Could you tell me more about your experience with bride-and-groom web sites? Hash tags? Any other cool things you've seen done to involve everyone, or share information?
Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it!